Malinda in Wonderland

I feel a little like Alice today, I'm on the verge of stepping into a rabbit hole; unless I stop short and play it safe, which hello, this is ME we are talking about. I'll know soon enough where following my own heart (and feet) has landed me on my curious venture. The blissful frailty of unwritten conclusions and unguarded access sweetens the desire. So despite all the familiar warnings, irresistible promise draws my eyes WIDE open and away from domestic comfort zones, with only certain inquiry, hope and faith to recommend my course. I'll never know until I try. But greatness is sure to be found!

Winter Time Weeding

So how do you decide whats a keeper, and what's not? I stopped and asked myself that over two weeks ago, not just about the clutter I am so famous for accumulating, but the things in life that keep you busy, but really don't get you anywhere.

Well, here I am two weeks later and although I have been very successful in organizing and purging the house as I get ready for the holidays, I have also realized I have one two many irons in the fire. What happened to my adopted motto of "find that one thing, and be the BEST at it"? It's almost as if I am allergic to "life balance"... Not really, but it does make me giggle a bit.

I have never been one to worry about taking a risk, said with a slight wince. Sometimes it has worked out, others not so much. But it's not the risk of making the wrong choices of what to keep, or what to let go of in life that scares me. It's the fear of things completely changing after I make said choices. Odd I know. After all, I know that I am destined to be a millionaire one day soon, but that doesn't mean it has to change ME. MAYBE, I fear the choices I have to make not for fear of the risk of the choice, but for fear of the choice changing ME.

Wow, this should of have been a "Dear Diary" entry, lol. And for the record, I am only drinking a warm glass of milk to help me fall asleep :)

So my task tomorrow is to pair down all my "activities" that I have so skillfully collected, all the while I am still and will remain a full time Realtor and decide what's a keeper, and what's not.

I am going to Be Bold, Take Risks, Embrace Fear, Welcome Change.... Or it's just not living.

The Path....

There once was a girl from Texas,

Who packed up the biggest Uhaul and moved away from it.

The purpose was not to reach a destination,

Rather to arrive at a new path and simply change direction.
Discover new wonders, in darkness and light.... storm and calm waters,
In each there is found delight.
To say I have arrived,
Is a waste of certain new adventures.

This path I tread is called living a life.
I will stop traveling it.... when I am dead and no longer living it.

"Not all those who wander are lost."

[edit]

Changing it up....

Waking up one day and realizing that you have been living your life in a monotonous, dreary and uninspiring rut is no cup of tea. You stop and ask yourself, how could this have possibly happened.. TO ME? It's like running straight into a brick wall with out even seeing it coming!  Seemingly out of thin air some magical-like epiphany hits you and you suddenly realize that life has stalled, and seems to be going nowhere, especially if there are finacial issues, problems at work or even with the family. In order to attract that much needed newness back into our lives we first need to be honest with ourselves and admit that we are in fact stuck in a rut. After that we simply make a conscious choice to welcome change and daily seek out new new ways to rejuvenate our  lives. 

Here's a list I made myself in hopes to drawn inspiration from:

1. Live in the NOW, Leave Yesterday in the Past, and Don't Stress About Tomorrow

Stop living in the past, and avoid wasting another moment regretting anything that has happened, there is nothing to be done that can change it. Doing so only robs us of the remaining time gifted to us in the here and now. That gift should be spent enjoying the moment we are in WHILE we are in it. The same goes for worrying about tomorrow. So busy and anxious we become with the future that we once again lose out on yet another moment lived and enjoyed in the here and now. 

2. Challenge Yourself

Setting a few personal challenges are a great way of motivating ourselves to do something new. Make sure to set the challenge high enough that it is not so easily achieved as not to become bored with it. I myself will be running the Tough Mudders race this next year and have committed to training with a personal trainer 2 to 3 times a week.

3. Change Up The Everyday Routine

How mind boggling easy it is to get wrapped up doing the same thing over and over for hours on end on completely uninspiring activities. To name a few; watching excessive amounts of TV,  surfing the net or playing computer games, and better yet, Facebooking for hours. Just becaus i didn't post it doesn't  mean it didn't happen :) I am am sure there are tons more that can be listed. Make a decision to do without whatever they are (yours personally) for a day or better yet 5 days!!! You are now forced to do something completely different and explore other opportunities. It goes without saying that you don't have to give up watching TV completely, and heaven forbid I wouldn't be able to google! How else would I help with my middle schoolers math, or figure out what and how to cook dinner ;)  The point is not to become so absorbed in a single activity that it leaves no opportunity for discovering new doors to open in our lives.

4. Do Something for Someone Else

Committing acts of kindness can offer many benefits. To name a few: It gives us a positive self-regard and a chance to feel better about our own good nature. It can offer a more positive social interaction and a unique chance to discover new friends. You have the chance to relieve a stress by doing somethimg to help alleviate someone else's misfortune. This act alone often means more than you can possibly imagine.

5. Step Away From Your LIFE for a Moment and Look at Life from a different perspective

Life can often become boring, it is more often than not a reflection of our personal attitude and behaviors. If we have a tendency to be negative, then it is more likely that we become bored with life and unable to see the positive side. For example, try to see one of your personal relationships from a different perspective; stop complaining about what bugs you about that person and start focusing on what you do like. Start behaving like the type of friend you want to have, and stop complaining about the type's of friends you do have.

6. Stop The Maddness, And Invest in some Mental Duct Tape and Post It's

It is your own thoughts and personal belief systems that have led you to the life you are currently leading.  If you contine to think and feel like you are stuck in life, you are simply attracting more of the same. The same adage of  "birds of a feather, flock together" holds the very same truth about your way of thinking and beliefs. This will sound corny but it's time to buy some mental duct tape and wrap up the negative thoughts, and utilize your post it notes as reminders of all the things that are good in life. We are creatures of habit and relearning a new way of thinking is not easy. You need to implement a strategy to continually remind yourself of the good in life, and how that there is an endless world of possibilities just waiting to be discovered. .

7. Stop Complaining

We could complain until we are blue in the face about a never-ending plethora of things; but does it make you feel better, feel satisfied, or happy? When we complain we actually focus our energy on the  negative and invite more of the same. Ever bought a new car? After buying that new car did you by any chance happen to notice a TON more cars like it than you ever had before?

OK, so this was more than few..... No ones perfect :) And for the record, I am not much of one to proof read after I write. So please excuse the typos.

My rainy Friday morning....

One would think that having most of today off that I would have JUMPED out of bed and been all productive and stuff.... Well..... Not so much. So far, this is the story board of how it has looked in the past 3 hours or so....

Generally not me, I like mornings... But this week I asked my 13 year old to make sure I wasn't sleeping trough my alarm... I mean really?

Then there was Jewels.... A force to be reckoned with. After 3 years you'd think she would catch on that she's a dog. Alas, no such luck. It doesn't help that she has her own pillow and gets tucked in with a blankly. So ya, she didn't care that I was feeling lazy... She lurked and stared me down until she was fed.

Just so you know, it IS a myth that cats only meow when people are around. And when I say meow, I really mean YOWL. Seriosly... What is it that they are trying to say? I gave them fresh water, food, and new litter. All I ask for is for my cat not to be louder than the stereo.

So that leaves me to the rest of my day, which by all rights needs to start being productive from this point forward..... Choices clearly have to be made!!!!

   

OR

Hmmmm.... Daunting choices for a Friday ;) 

Seriously though, I am out of here. TGIF

All those that wander....

"All those that wander are not lost" has always been one of my favorite quotes. However, not until recently did it take on more of a personal meaning. Recently it came to my attention that there was some concern among friends and a few acquaintances in the lack of my "sticking to it" way of life. At first I actually gave it some creditable thought. Then upon further review with my trusted review panel of three "me, myself and I" along with a very supporting yummy glass of Cabernet...  I thought better of second guessing myself and my choices. Really -  I live a very colorful and vibrant life with everyday being chalk full of new and interesting "happenings". I have a privileged life that is filled with optimism, hope, creativity and a positive attitude - even when the odds have been stacked against me. Maybe it does seem to some that "I just can't seem to get it together", but the real truth is that there is a lot to learn from this life and some of the most difficult, challenging, and REWARDING jobs in life come from experiencing the variety of life itself and the unique experiences it has to offer.  That includes the good, the bad, and the ugly and trust me its generally not the path most traveled. So maybe at times I don't have it all together ALL AT ONCE, but at least I have the capacity to do more than one thing at a time. OK - I don't mean to come across as a "I can do all things better than you type of person", because we all know that is clearly not the case.

 I simply don't believe it is, or was my lot in life to just find a "job" and make it my goal to keep it forever just for the sake of appearances. Rather, it's my firm belief that as I look back on my whole life and the sadness and joys that I have been through that I am simply experiencing what you might consider "on the job training" for what is THE BEST IS YET TO COME. Trust me, this last week has all the signs of pointing to just that. 

I have no regrets, no "I wonder what ifs", just a choice in the here and now as to what adventure I am going to embark on next with all my experience and knowledge.  Rest assured though, it will be fantastic, and I of course will rock at it ;) Just saying - if you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect others too. 

I would rather spend any amount of time with that one person who is full of passion for what he or she does, believes in, or even DREAMS about and can be HONEST with me, than waste one second on a luke warm body with no real ambition who simply takes up space and tells me what they think I want to hear.

So to all my friends, that embrace my quirkiness, overlook my sometimes over enthusiastic outlook, and are TRULY loyal - I love you. Plain and simple.

So if you happen to see me out there "wandering", no worries friend, don't judge this book by its cover, I am simply living my life with eyes wide open and taking it all in ;)

Ciao ~ M

Sometimes The Music Says it All....

Sometimes when words fail to convey what the mouth can speak, there is music. Music is the canvas of the soul, ever changing, beautiful and profound .....

When I'm Gone lyrics
Songwriters: Roberts, Matt; Harrell, Todd; Arnold, Brad; Henderson, Chris;

There's another world inside of me that you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away, maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone

When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends
And roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone, whoa
Love me when I'm gone, when I'm gone
When I'm gone, when I'm gone

Falling Out of the Old Ways

I have never been much of a "Spring Cleaner".. well or just a cleaner at all for that matter. However, I still like things clean all the same. So in keeping with the season, I am going to do a little fall purging and delegate some of the cleaning tasks to my perfectly capable children. While the unwanted foliage of our beautiful trees are starting to shed their leaves in preparation for a long winter and in anticipation for its new growth and beautiful spring that follows, that's exactly what I am going to do.

Often it's hard to visualize all the exciting things you want to happen when your line of sight is cluttered with so many things that don't belong and take up too much space. It affects not only the space you live in in the physical world, but it equally takes it toll in your mental well being. For example I have I hit a road block with how I want to redo my 4th bedroom/office and I am also at an impasse in my professional career. In both cases I have allowed so much "clutter" to accumulate in their space I can no longer visual what possibilities they hold. Truly the only way to overcome this hurdle is wipe both of their slates clean. Mind you, I won't be erasing people (for the most part) from my life, no more than I am going to host a giant bonfire for "all" of my offices current contents. I will however begin to rearrange and repurpose most of it, and perhaps start a small bonfire for posterity's sake to serve as a reminder.  I also won't be tossing any of my "human clutter" counter parts into this said bonfire, but it does go without saying that some people we have allowed into our lives don't belong. This is a difficult thing for me to say, because I believe that we were put on this earth to serve as a beacon of light. I do my very best to do just that as much as I can. But ask yourself, does it make sense for a candle to try and build it's foundation on water? While water serves a purpose to said candle, it is wise to place the water a little further away from itself.

Wish me luck on the great purge & repurpose endeavor... I am certain it's going to be an ongoing process.