Malinda in Wonderland

I feel a little like Alice today, I'm on the verge of stepping into a rabbit hole; unless I stop short and play it safe, which hello, this is ME we are talking about. I'll know soon enough where following my own heart (and feet) has landed me on my curious venture. The blissful frailty of unwritten conclusions and unguarded access sweetens the desire. So despite all the familiar warnings, irresistible promise draws my eyes WIDE open and away from domestic comfort zones, with only certain inquiry, hope and faith to recommend my course. I'll never know until I try. But greatness is sure to be found!

Winter Time Weeding

So how do you decide whats a keeper, and what's not? I stopped and asked myself that over two weeks ago, not just about the clutter I am so famous for accumulating, but the things in life that keep you busy, but really don't get you anywhere.

Well, here I am two weeks later and although I have been very successful in organizing and purging the house as I get ready for the holidays, I have also realized I have one two many irons in the fire. What happened to my adopted motto of "find that one thing, and be the BEST at it"? It's almost as if I am allergic to "life balance"... Not really, but it does make me giggle a bit.

I have never been one to worry about taking a risk, said with a slight wince. Sometimes it has worked out, others not so much. But it's not the risk of making the wrong choices of what to keep, or what to let go of in life that scares me. It's the fear of things completely changing after I make said choices. Odd I know. After all, I know that I am destined to be a millionaire one day soon, but that doesn't mean it has to change ME. MAYBE, I fear the choices I have to make not for fear of the risk of the choice, but for fear of the choice changing ME.

Wow, this should of have been a "Dear Diary" entry, lol. And for the record, I am only drinking a warm glass of milk to help me fall asleep :)

So my task tomorrow is to pair down all my "activities" that I have so skillfully collected, all the while I am still and will remain a full time Realtor and decide what's a keeper, and what's not.

I am going to Be Bold, Take Risks, Embrace Fear, Welcome Change.... Or it's just not living.

All those that wander....

"All those that wander are not lost" has always been one of my favorite quotes. However, not until recently did it take on more of a personal meaning. Recently it came to my attention that there was some concern among friends and a few acquaintances in the lack of my "sticking to it" way of life. At first I actually gave it some creditable thought. Then upon further review with my trusted review panel of three "me, myself and I" along with a very supporting yummy glass of Cabernet...  I thought better of second guessing myself and my choices. Really -  I live a very colorful and vibrant life with everyday being chalk full of new and interesting "happenings". I have a privileged life that is filled with optimism, hope, creativity and a positive attitude - even when the odds have been stacked against me. Maybe it does seem to some that "I just can't seem to get it together", but the real truth is that there is a lot to learn from this life and some of the most difficult, challenging, and REWARDING jobs in life come from experiencing the variety of life itself and the unique experiences it has to offer.  That includes the good, the bad, and the ugly and trust me its generally not the path most traveled. So maybe at times I don't have it all together ALL AT ONCE, but at least I have the capacity to do more than one thing at a time. OK - I don't mean to come across as a "I can do all things better than you type of person", because we all know that is clearly not the case.

 I simply don't believe it is, or was my lot in life to just find a "job" and make it my goal to keep it forever just for the sake of appearances. Rather, it's my firm belief that as I look back on my whole life and the sadness and joys that I have been through that I am simply experiencing what you might consider "on the job training" for what is THE BEST IS YET TO COME. Trust me, this last week has all the signs of pointing to just that. 

I have no regrets, no "I wonder what ifs", just a choice in the here and now as to what adventure I am going to embark on next with all my experience and knowledge.  Rest assured though, it will be fantastic, and I of course will rock at it ;) Just saying - if you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect others too. 

I would rather spend any amount of time with that one person who is full of passion for what he or she does, believes in, or even DREAMS about and can be HONEST with me, than waste one second on a luke warm body with no real ambition who simply takes up space and tells me what they think I want to hear.

So to all my friends, that embrace my quirkiness, overlook my sometimes over enthusiastic outlook, and are TRULY loyal - I love you. Plain and simple.

So if you happen to see me out there "wandering", no worries friend, don't judge this book by its cover, I am simply living my life with eyes wide open and taking it all in ;)

Ciao ~ M